I'm not at all pleased with my lack of self-discipline. I'm writing this retrospectively, of course, after the JNCO course is over, but just so I can remember the date on which it happened, this entry is labelled the 16th.

The entire 1/2004 JNCO course went on a 2 day (1 night) NavEx, in Aero Paddock at Holsworthy. That night, I helped Madison put up her hoochie (used some sticks for pegs, just like the officers did for me and Laura on AFX).
Then I went out next to Aero Paddock, some 20 metres away from the portaloos and sat on the dirt road. On the way there, some girls standing near the portaloos challenged me, calling, "Hey there, where are you going?" I didn't answer them; I only had another 10 steps to go. "Yes, you! Who are you, and where are you going?" I didn't answer, just stood and stared up at the stars. One of the girls came over and shone her torch in my face. "You again!" Arkans sneered. "You go back to the lines right this minute and go to sleep!" To this rudeness, I replied, "No, I will not. You cannot make me. You have no rank over me." "I'm a lance corporal!" she shouted. I thought to myself, 'You never wear your rank, and besides, you're just another participant in this course, you have no rank over me.' "I'll not take orders from you. I'll go back and sleep when I want, or if an officer tells me to. But not when YOU want me to!" At this, she stormed off. Not too long afterwards, I heard her calling, "Sir! Excuse me, sir!" Ignoring her, I sat on the dusty, unsealed road and admired the Southern Cross. Two minutes later, CUO Brogan came along and asked calmly, "What seems to be the matter?" Not quite sure what to say, I replied, "I'm just sitting here looking at the stars." He basically sent me back to the lines, but at least he was nice about it. "You shouldn't be out here alone, it's dangerous. There are 8RAR soldiers all around here."
On the way back, I took the wrong turn and ended up in the middle of the male lines. I found two guys with a radio, so I stayed there for a while, and wandered between them and the group of people gathered near the female lines. Once I massaged Corporal Heywood's shoulders, then another girl's. She enjoyed it.
I went back to the guys with the radio, and not too soon afterwards, LCpl Staff came along as well. Heywood was coming around checking if everyone was in their hoochies, so I quickly rolled over to a tree and lay on my belly on the ground. He reached us, and said, "Who's that?!" "Um, we don't know, he's just lying there," Staff replied. Heywood came over for a closer look, chuckled, and said, "I know who that is, it's okay, she can stay," before walking on.
I crawled back over and settled myself on my belly, between the guys, right in front of the radio with Staff on my left and the other two on my right. We were just talking quietly when Staff reached under to where my hand was and started rubbing his fingers against mine. Not thinking much of it, I let him continue, figuring that I'd not get too far.
About twenty minutes later, he reached up and ran his fingertips lightly over my breasts. He did this for quite a while, during which I shivered gently with pleasure.
"I hope I don't regret this tomorrow morning," I whispered.
"What, are you going to do something you're going to regret?" Staff grinned.
"I hope not," I replied. "I'm certainly not going to have sex with you. By letting me stay here, Heywood is putting his trust in me," I clarified. "I don't want to break that trust."
"Oh, I see," he nodded, and showed me his crossed fingers.
"Mmm?" I asked, a little confused.
"Crossed fingers, a sign of trust," he informed me.
"Ah, yes." I crossed my fingers over my nose.
The other guys had dragged their sleeping bags out from their hoochie and gradually fell asleep under the stars, so I moved closer and let Staff hold me in his arms. He was so warm I could have fallen asleep there, but he kept me awake with more teasing.
At one point, I turned over and raised myself onto my elbows to look into his eyes and bump noses with him. He draped an arm over my shoulders and tried to kiss me on the lips, but I turned and accepted it on my cheek, not wanting to get into contact with too many bodily fluids, then dug my face into his shoulder and neck. "What, you're not even going to give me a kiss?" he asked. I shook my head. "Well, that doesn't matter, we can do other things."
I reached up under his shirt, tickled him, and played with his nipples. "Not ticklish?" I asked, somewhat disappointed.
"Not ticklish, not there anyway. But I am underneath." He continued, "I have such a fucking hard on."
"Really?"
"Yep." He took my hand and led me to his erection, which he'd taken out from his pants. Sitting up to get a better look, I giggled, "I have no idea how to pleasure a guy."
"But I do," Staff replied, gently wrapped his hand around mine, and taught me how to. "It feels better when it's inside your mouth," he suggested, then continued, "but you're not going to try that, are you?" I shook my head. Deciding to find out where he was ticklish, I reached down further to just below his penis, ran my fingers over the skin there and heard him gasp quietly. Pleased, I did it a few more times before returning to his arms. His hands went under my shirt again for a while, then moved lower, down my belly and into my pants, which were too tight for him to fit his hand in very far. I think he was a little frustrated by this, so he withdrew and undid the bottom four buttons, but had a some trouble undoing the topmost one. After a while of sensing him fumbling with it, I reached down, tapped the back of his hand with my fingers so that he moved, and undid it myself. He reached in, brushing a sensitive spot as he did so, and I arched my back a little to meet him as his finger entered me. He probed, deep, it seemed, for he said, "I could go deeper, but I don't want to hurt you." He withdrew a little and I clenched up, trying to feel him inside me. Knowing that he would have to use his imagination, I was also hoping that he was imagining himself penetrating me with his penis, and wanted to give him some pleasure in fantasizing about how tight I would be. "Just relax," he whispered, so I did, and let him move his fingers in and out. Once, I think he tried to fit two fingers in, but I gasped in pain, and he said, "No?" and I shook my head, so he didn't. I wish I hadn't done that; it would have been good to experience.

So yeah, I fraternised on the JNCO course when we shouldn't have. Not that I regret it; I'm just not pleased that I seem to fall for any guy who wants me. Of course, losing a boyfriend could be contributing to that. -_-;
But it's year 12 this year; final year of high school, so schoolwork must come first.