Just read Mase's blog again. I suspected before that he felt... well, I can't explain it, so to use his words, he feels like 'a big brother'.
Not that it's a bad thing. To be able to help people out, it's a skill. But there's only so far one can help others before getting bogged down and depressed by everyone else’s problems.
There was a time before when Mase was really depressed, maybe half a year or longer ago now, back when I had to use my brother's mic and headphones for voice conversations. Consequently, there aren't any logs of those times; just as well, I suppose. (Although my parents haven't gone through the files on my computer, there's always a first time for anything, and once that happens, I'll be in big trouble.) I don't even remember what Mase was depressed over, but it was bad nonetheless.
It would be bad if he fell back into that state. There are some people who do more damage to themselves than anyone else in the world could.
Originally, I helped him deal with that depression; then I broke up with Thran, and he helped me out - "You helped me before, now I'll help you" - (especially that time at school, this destructive apathy came over me, it still hangs around every now and then, thank God for wbmsn)
I wouldn't mind helping him again. It's good to feel that I can be of assistance to someone else. But assurance over the Internet, even if there is voice conversation, is severely limited; there's really only so much it can help. And that worries me; concern for myself as well as for anyone else.
Now that I’ve got it all down in text, it’s obvious; there’s really not much I can do about it. I mean, I could tell others, but what’s the point. Eventually we all say the same stuff; it looks repetitive and sounds generic, no matter how helpful it may be at the time. *Sigh* And that is why assurance in text is not as helpful as actual comfort irl.
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