TAC All Hands, morning after

This entry will degenerate into a memory dump, getting progressively worse as I lose concentration. Also, try and ignore the obsession. You've been warned.

It starts on Friday afternoon, with me still trying to figure out what to wear to the TAC All Hands. Finally decided on black pants, those comfortable black leather lace-up shoes I'd worn to work more times than I remember, some lacy black undershirt thing mum dug up and this odd crinkly translucent black top with white dots. Oh, and a huge white coat. Can't forget that. And leaving later than planned because I didn't know where I was going so had to go back inside and look it up online.

Eastwood -> Central -> Circular quay. Was dark by the time I got off the train, asked for directions to Pier 1. She initially said there was no pier 1, just wharves 2-5. Checked the map and said I should walk along the water. That was about 18:00.
Found a metal map. Decided walking around would take too long, so I cut across the park.
Road through the park was undergoing repairs or something. Dark bluedusk sky, Venus over the darkblackgreen grass hill, windchill. Thankful for the coat now. Stood at the top of the stairs trying to find my destination. Finally spotted it in the corner, the bus (from work) was in the way. Stood on the wharf for a while in the dark cooling down because I didn't want to stink.

18:15
Kaysarah with the glow sticks, Greg and David with beer and more glowsticks, respectively. Got a green one, then yellow too. Ended up leaving them there anyway, but spent much time trying to make them conform around my arm under the top. Glowy yellow frustration.

Mingling. Took some pictures of people. Small snack things, pastries, dimsim... very tasty. Tried to find out what table everyone was at. Turns out they were all different.

Table 16. Empty sort of table. Didn't talk much to the people around me, didn't know them too well. One from another team, the other a manager. A woman arrived late, having come from a wedding in Palm Beach; she'd already eaten but people kept saying she was going to be at her seat and eat, but she never really did; spent her time at other tables. What a waste of food...

Some stuff about the manager, whose name I cannot remember and have no resources to find out.
Started out as air traffic controller in the air force, did radar and communications for a bit, somehow got into networking and found himself working here now. If he got the chance to do his younger years over, he'd do everything the same, but he wouldn't go back to the air force. I asked him why and he was about to say but the guy on my right interrupted and asked about something related to current work. And I never managed to bring it back up.
He said he'd told himself he wouldn't stay in Sydney for more than 2yrs. That was 7yrs ago. He still wants to get out of Sydney, but he'll do it when the time is right; he's not the sort of person who would move for the sake of moving.

A video was shown, consisting of some (4) people dressing up in a variety of costumes (superman being the most memorable), sped up to the speed of some corny music. Quite amusing.

Entrée. Squid. Tasty. Talked some to the manager on my left (see above).
Rowlo had already started on his bender.

Karen (*cheers* little asian woman in a high managerial position in an IT company, did an engineering course and then some manager's thing over in the US, much respected and loved by all) presented the serious bit of the evening, stuff about goals - most of which were surpassed in the financial year - (but not the finances, she wasn't allowed to talk about those until they were released to the public) and many congratulations and exhortations to do even better in the coming financial year. Apparently there was a little thing they had going, if they met all the goals (MBOs) well and stuff, they were going to get 'on the water'. Last year, they were several hundred metres away; this year, they're 'close enough to take a swim if you really want'. The restaurant was aptly named WatersEdge.

About WatersEdge:
Toilets were pretty normal. More bricked up and self contained, smelled faintly of vomit but were otherwise clean. Scented oil, possibly vanilla. The candle was lit in the beginning but someone blew it out sometime during the night.
Lots of balloons, mostly silver and gold, but colourful ones for the tables. Tables had sparklies sprinkled over them middle, and menus. (My sister tells me decorations are arranged by your own group though.)

Mains. Beef. Tough stuff, and not enough sauce. Edible though.

Awards were presented. And a toast had to Sonali. Paraphrased, it was "We all know she would like us to have fun and to continue to remember her this way."
Was embarrassed that I had to ask who she was, from the manager guy on my left.

Sonali:
My initial question to the man was "Who is she?" He told me how she'd been hired around the same time he'd been (don't really remember, I guess a while ago). She did work in a variety of teams. (Sometime around this bit I had the feeling something bad had happened) but contracted a virus; she'd been rushed to hospital on Monday afternoon, but had passed away on Tuesday.

20:30
The band was called up. Dancing ensued. People gradually got more drunk. I spent the first hour or more taking photos, with 20min left on the battery. (Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid..) Jackie was also seen taking many photos. She was smart and had brought 2 batteries. *kicks self some more*
She'd also drunk some, so was trying to get me on the dance floor several times, tugging at the flimsy black top in ways that I thought it would rip (thankfully it didn't).
Jipson was going around with the entire jug of beer; he was attaching balloons to glowstick rings and wearing them.
Byung asked me to dance with him but I was still in the process of milking my camera battery. I did end up trying to put a glowstick halo on his head while he was dancing later but it fell off.

The band took regular breaks. At some point, dessert appeared. No one at my table ate theirs except for me, so I ate the spare one next to me. Hazelnut mousse, in a chocolate latticecup, circled on the plate by coffee sauce and a few slices of strawberry. Strawberries were sweet. The entire thing was delicious, had crunchy bits.

Battery finally ran out. I'd been poured a glass of wine at some point. Decided I wasn't having as much fun as I should have been, so I drank the entire thing in one go. It tasted foul, and had an immediate psychological effect. (Actual effect probably kicked in gradually.)
Didn't have enough to dance with abandon, so I sat and admired the female singer from the band. She has a lovely voice, and I told her so while they were on one of their breaks. (Pity I can't remember the name of the band either.)

The band, memory dump:
Male guitar player; didn't look too hard. Electric.
Female singer. Greyish clothing, odd mushroom-shaped skirt.
Male singer, interchangeable. The one I noticed most looked like a seasoned musician, old yet knowing stuff. Jazz-like? Played the uh.. small piano blowy thing in one song.
Drummer. Loud and crisp.
Miscellaneous instrument player, probably another guitarist or 2 (didn't notice).
Decent harmony.
Lights mainly pink, green, orange, flashy. Volume loud.

Grabbed Jackie at one point and took her for a spin (literally) on the dance floor. She almost fell over once and looked like she was sitting on the ground, I pulled her back up and continued. She sort of stumbled off the dance floor afterwards. "I was not expecting that. Thank you!" She seemed pleased, looked dizzy.

Much time spent walking around, more attempts at taking photos, staring, trying to figure out if I'd taken photos of all the people I wanted to.

Ended up near the back of the place, away from the loud music, talking to people from lanswitching and other teams who didn't seem too keen on dancing either.

Went around hitting people with balloons. Of course they hit me back with balloons, but they're just balloons. Tied one to a red glowstick ring and put it on mihanlin's head. He consequently went around trying to hit people with the balloon that was indirectly attached to his head.

Talked to mihanlin some. Ok lots. Saw Mario seemingly confiding/gossiping to Tomas and pointing in my direction. Turned away and pretended I saw nothing, or was looking at something that Mario may have been pointing at. Dump of snippets of conversations follow.

Tomas: "Do you ever cut your hair? Is it (my braid) real? Can I pull it? I love pulling girls' hair."
Me: "Yes, it's my real hair. Umm... you can pull it if you want."
mihanlin: "Now now Tomas that's no way to treat a girl."

Do you still do photography?
Yes. Uh... yeah... No. Everything's been put aside for CCIE. Afterwards I might pick it up again.
Do you still have the dog? (As soon as I saw his reaction to this, I knew it was the wrong thing to ask)
No, not that one. It died. I also don't have that girlfriend anymore. Thanks for googling my name.
Everything on the page was done in film. None of it was done in photoshop. The blue (?)
You have a point and shoot?

Photography tips - best time for taking pictures is sunrise or sunset. Light is soft, as opposed to during the day when the sun is right overhead and casting sharp shadows.
Harbour bridge and opera house make Sydney Sydney. Take photos of.

I'm going over to the US in two weeks.
Wow, lucky. What for?
Training. I'll be over there for three weeks.

I dare you to scull your wine.
You know they'll just come up with a bottle asking if you want refills afterwards.
Hehe I know. Do it! I dare you!
Fine, but you'll owe me.
Ok.
*sculls*
... *stares at much smaller glass of wine* *sculls*
Well yours was less.
I know. *peer*
*waitress walks up with bottle of wine*
*cracks up laughing* *considers* No, no thanks.
It's always good to know your limits.
Yes.

Party eventually wound down around 23:00; most people went to the Argyle. Rowlo and Andy walked out of the place still carrying glasses of beer, which belonged to the restaurant.
Police appeared halfway there and stopped a large group of people, confiscated their beer.
In another language, Jackie told me that they'd be fine, usually police just check for id and such because a huge group is pretty suspicious, if nothing happens to you, then just walk on. I looked back, Rowlo and Andy and a whole bunch of people got stopped, but a lot of people also just walked around the group that got stopped.
She was adamant that I should get home, even asked me how I was going to get home. I tried to do the same to her (because she seemed to have had more than I had, and she had an exam the next day) but she was rather carefree about it, said all she needed to do was get to TH because she lived pretty close from there.

20m from the pub, some people either got confused or turned away, so they went to another bar. I went on to the Argyle. A lot of grads and interns were there, and so were some normal staff.
Sat on the edge of the booth they'd picked for a while. Someone bought a round of bourbon and coke so I took one, sipped it for a bit then took it with me as I went for a wander around the upstairs. The (female?) DJ was there on a little platform of her own, and people were dancing to trance/dance music. Was good.
Came back down, found the toilets. They were considerably cooler than those at WatersEdge. Shared washbasin in the middle with vertical water taps coming from what was like the ceiling. W+M stalls on the left, W stalls on the right, large urinals at the back (which I didn't have the nerve to look behind after I almost walked past one guy doing his business).
Andy and Babs were standing in front of the toilets blocking traffic. I have no idea why, but it was amusing at the time.
Talked to a guy with shoulder length hair, he asked me the usual questions about uni and work and whether I'd be back. Also, about my heritage, which was a much more accurate way to ask 'where are you from'. I don't remember his name either, I don't think he ever told me.
mihanlin showed up at some point, he was there when I'd finished my wanderings. He didn't seem to be doing much, turns out he'd drunk nothing but water there anyway.
Guru had a turban on. He tried to hit on me -_-;; I asked him if he had a wife or something and he was all "You think I have a wife?! Of course not!" and the guy with the hair was telling him how he was invading my personal space - he actually was so I pushed him away, and suddenly noticed mihanlin was not there so went by the bar where he was in line, just to make sure he hadn't disappeared.
Dot left after a bit, talking on the phone to Brendon. I assumed she was going to the station, but figured there would be others to walk with, so stayed a bit longer.

01:00?
Ended up walking with mihanlin way past the Circular Quay train station, to Wynyard instead. Turns out there are no trains, just nightride buses, which leave from TH.
Ended up walking past TH, thought about staying over at uni, but eventually decided to stay over at his place, because it was no big deal.
Memory dump follows:
You don't mind walking to my place? Because seriously I do this all the time.
I could stay over at your place, but you have a girlfriend.
That's ok. She only stays with me sometimes.
Is it really ok to stay at your place?
Yes.
Really?
Mmhmm.
Really?
Yes, it's no big deal. My girlfriend doesn't actually live with me, I just say she does so she can get the free health insurance.
(after some more talking) You have housemates? Are they uni students?
I live with two others. One's a girl, her name is (something I didn't catch). The other is a guy, (a name that I could actually pronounce but can't remember). He's the uni student.
I suggest you pretend to be asleep, that way you don't have to worry about saying hi to anyone if you don't want.
It's such a bother finding clean housemates.
Are they clean?
They are. Relatively.
Isn't Wynyard the station that goes everywhere?
<blank between Wynyard and TH>
Guy walks up and asks for directions or something, I'd just recognised the QVB, he tells the guy to walk with, but the guy didn't, think he needed to catch a bus or something.
(After much jaywalking) Stop. Hand on shoulder. Both watch a car turn into the street I was just about to start crossing. Ok now we can go. (More jaywalking)
I brought my keys but I didn't bring my wallet, so if they'd asked for ID I'd have been in trouble.
Ah. But you look old enough anyway, they wouldn't ask you for ID.
I seriously look that old?
Older than 18, which is what really matters. Where'd you leave your wallet?
I guess it's at work.
I should walk to Central every day, for the exercise. But it's so much easier to just catch a train from nearby.
(seeing a church) So do you go to church?
No.
Why not?
I want to be a fence sitter. I don't want to believe there's a God, but I do want to believe there's a God.
Why? Isn't it a better bet to believe that there is one?
But then you might miss out on some things in life.
Well I can do without the drug addiction, smoking and getting laid. Smoking is disgusting.
If people want to smoke it's up to them.
I don't want them to smoke around me. I don't want to breathe it.
Well not like it's hours for a time, more like a few seconds/minutes.
They need to die quickly.
Well they'll die slowly after realising what they're doing.
I heard Brendon quit smoking.
Nah he hasn't.
You should all tell him to quit. Peer pressure.
It won't work. There's one thing I've learnt in life, you can't make someone stop smoking, they have to want to themselves.
This place looks familiar. But I haven't walked this way before. I think. Where's the station?
It's between those two buildings there.

02:00
Memory dump:
Blue gates round 'decoration' couple kissing in front of the thick glass doors "He'll let you in" "Can you let me in mate" uncertainty security risk unlocked the door anyway
tiled floor slow release white button light switch "That's one" carpeted steps noises laughter "That's two" TV sounds footsteps
Close door behind me no particular scent, surprised. Follow left put bag and coat on blue couch proper "Is this the couch I sleep on?" "No, well you can if you want" rest head on armrest
"What floor is this?" "The bottom level." "The stairs should have been a clue to that."
Stare at bookshelf at the bottom of stairs "Those are the books that we have."
lighter bluewhitedecorated couchbed pushing around of couch and couchbed, removing Wii remotes and one sock from couchbed, turning couchbed into bed by flattening backrest
"I'll go get sheets"
Wander, stare at wine, dining table
Returns with a folded piece of white cloth "Do you sleep on top or under your sheets?" "Uh what is it? I don't sleep on sheets, I sleep on a pile of cloth and a hard wooden board." "Well you stretch it out like this" tries to fling folded elastic white cloth open, fails "You get the idea" move cushions, elastic is in corners and goes around bluewhitedecorated padded couchbed thing goes back upstairs returns with dark red pillow and warm fluffy bluegreen cloth
"Anything else you need?" "Water?" "Ah yes water. Would you like some?" "Yes please." glasses from topright wooden double doors filled from tap
Opens bottomleft wooden double doors "This is my food, it's special because it's the closest to reach. You can take anything you want from there." "I promise it won't be empty when you wake up."
Opens fridge door "This is the fridge. There's beer, milk, bread, .." "I like how beer was the first thing you said." "It's because we're all alcoholics. Well I drink. That's one out of three." "Where's the toilet?" "Oh, here." walk, point "And laundry." "Yes, a laundry with a toilet."
walk back to couchbed
"Toilet?" "There's one upstairs" "Ah ok" "I'm going to bed then. See you in the morning, or if you leave before I wake up, see you later" "Goodnight" takes water with
finish water, rinse glass and replace, use toilet, put glasses on laptop, try to sleep
cannot sleep, too warm, then too cold. Stretch on open carpet area, back to bed attempt to sleep (0311) do fall asleep pleasured self to climax

Next thing I remember was waking up to brighter light coming in through the open blinds of the windowdoor to the balcony. Watch says 0623. More sleep.
Noises, a blurry person blond hair black jacket/clothing is walking around "Morning" blink back to sleep
Wake again she is eating at table, turn to look, back to sleep. Hear the door closing as she leaves.
~0800 I can't possibly sleep anymore, the sunlight in my face is too much so I get up, unbraid my hair, try to work the worst of the tangles out with my fingers, then use the toilet then the sink for washing hands and face.
Dried face on the sheets. Checked out the books on the bookshelf and chose one to read.
Contents of the bookshelf:
Street directory 2006
Street directory 2007
Some books about career, time management, some fiction
Other books that I can't remember, most of them with boring sounding titles
Picked an A5 hardcover one, titled something like "Everything you thought, think about it backwards". It turned out to be an interesting read, about how everything you do is up to you, you could either do what everyone thought was right, or try out a lot of things which may seem utterly wrong at the time but may turn out great.
Returned the book to the bookcase, folded up blanket, removed and tried to fold, eventually ended up rolling up the sheet, placed pillow, sheet and blanket onto couch proper, turned couchbed back into a couch with some difficulty.
Went to bookshelf and picked another book, this time a bigger, floppy glossy covered one whose title I can't remember. It was the story of life as children of mafia, told by the two children of a man trusted by the mafia, who turned informer because the Feds gave him the choice of either dying in jail or dying out on the streets - he was due to be murdered for knowing stuff about some crime - or turning informer.
I couldn't stand the book after three chapters so I put it back and looked for another book.
Found one titled something along the lines of "Practical Audio Techniques". Decided I needed food.

Contents of his food:
lentils (several cans)
2 bottles of water (from work)
jelly powder (several boxes, more than there are lentils)
a variety of other stuff, none of which looks appealing

Contents of the fridge:
beer (took a few looks to find this, it was still in its wrapping)
milk
yoghurt
bread (old/odd-smelling, new unopened)
butter
orange juice
a packet of sliced cheese (three slices remaining, I thought they'd notice if one was gone)
a variety of other stuff, none of which was labelled, so I wasn't sure I could consume

0900
Finally settled on a cup of orange juice. Took it and the book, sat in the strip of sunlight stretching across the carpet, and started reading/drinking.
Book was interesting, but I pretty much stopped understanding at the third chapter. Also, it looked like no one had edited it, there were spelling mistakes scattered throughout.
At some point, showering sounds are heard. After a while, someone comes down the stairs. Assuming it's mihanlin, I turn to look. It's the other housemate, still pulling on his pants.
"Hi Ally!"
I look up, assuming he mistook me for the girl who left earlier.
"Oh uh, hi."
"Morning."
"Are you waiting for mihanlin?"
"Yeah. He said he had work today, so he should be getting up soon."
"Isn't he going to be late?"
"Well technically work starts at 10 so he's still got some time. I'd have left earlier, but I think I'd get lost on the way to the station."
"Oh here I'll draw you a map."
"Would you like something for breakfast?"
"No it's ok, I had some orange juice."
"Was Ally here last night?"
"I don't know. Someone left earlier. A blond, with a black jacket."
"Oh, that's <name of the other housemate>." Ally is mihanlin's girlfriend.
I could smell toast after a bit, which he sits on the couchbed eating. Once he's done, he heads back upstairs and uses msn for a bit, webcams with someone, then says he's just about to leave. He appears at the bottom of the stairs with shoes and a backpack on, says goodbye and runs out of the house.
After he left, I took the map, and then decided the rest of the paper would be good to make notes on. So I did.

~0950
*sees mihanlin appearing from the stairs, hair still a mess and hastily thrown on clothing; grins*
"Don't laugh." He sounds slightly amused, as though what he'd said was like a straw trying to hold back a flood.
I go back to reading as he gets a glass of water from the kitchen, comes back and seats himself on the couch proper*
"So how are you feeling?"
"I have a headache. And I'm dizzy."
"Is that what they call a hangover?"
"Yes. I think it was the wine that did it."
"Ah. I've never had a hangover before."
"Lucky you."
*pause in conversation, the sound of my writing notes echoing around the small box-like environment where I'm writing*
"Don't you have work today?"
"Technically, no. I'm just going in to study, so I can go at whatever time I want."
"Aah, ok."
"I think I'd be a little more responsible with my alcohol if I had work today."
"Are you still dizzy?"
"Not so much now. Maybe because I'm sitting down, it'll probably come back when I stand up."
*more note writing*
*sounds of water drinking*
*gets up and grabs the panadol from on top of the smoke alarm packaging on the table with the computer(s) equipment on it, drops it on him and goes back to reading*
"Ah, that might help. ... Two tablets?"
"Who owns this book? It looks like it was never read."
"Oh, it belongs to <female housemate>. She took a course in audio engineering but I don't think she finished it."

He went back to sleep for a few hours. I read until 10:45, moving to the couch proper when the patch of sun moved to far for me to sit in it anymore. There were two strands of pale whitish hair - I assumed they were his, even though I thought his hair was more brown. Slept for 15min. When I woke it was 11:00, I figured I should leave.
Found the train station, but decided to wander around on the streets. It was windy and cold, I tried to stay in the sun and ignore the inevitable hungry feeling.

~11:40
Having walked down his street, retracing the way we'd gotten there all the way to the traffic lights, I head back down the road we'd walked earlier, this time going straight rather than turning into the street where he lived. Just before the lights, there's a side street. I happen to look down it, and there's mihanlin walking up it towards me. I wave but he doesn't wave back. I think maybe he didn't look up so I continue walking to the lights and stand there waiting. Wave again when he gets closer.
"How are you feeling?"
"A bit better. Still a little dizzy, not sure how I'll go on the train. Did you just leave?"
"No, I left a while ago but decided to go wandering."
"There's not much to see around here."
"Yeah."
"Well, at least this is the good side of the neighbourhood."
"Heh. I remember seeing a group of people standing around a fire they'd made in the middle of of the street."
"Yeah that stuff happens on the other side of town, over there." (Gestures to the other side of the street.)
Walk to the station with him. He buys a $1.40 ticket to Central.
"Central?"
"Yes, I raided the jar at home. It's called fare evasion. You see, I already have a ticket at work."
I notice the gates that are permanently open. "What's the point of buying a ticket if the gates are always open anyway?"
"Those are the fare evasion gates. They don't check around this side, they only really watch the main gates."
Decided to catch the train with him to work before heading back home, since it was the last time I'd see him in a while and everything.
"I remembered my access badge, keys, and mobile phone. But I forgot my wallet."
"Where is it?"
"It should be at work." *tries to look at the time*
"And I also forgot the wristwatch."
"Well, there's always the phone. Where's the watch?"
*thinks, then looks at the phone* "It's on my bedside table."
"Where were we yesterday? Just down there?"
"Pier one. Yes, down there somewhere. Wow. I've never seen the view from here." The train was going over the harbour bridge; bright greenblue of water and clearly defined fingers of land forming a long coast around the harbour. I watch until the train finishes crossing over the bridge.
I fiddle with the zippers on my bag for a bit, then look at him. He's staring out the window, his lips are very white (although they'd been red before), and his eyes slightly red.
"You still look hungover."
"That's because I am."
"So why are you going to work?"
"Well I need to study. And I promised someone that I'd be there." I remembered that he had indeed said he'd see someone at work last night at WatersEdge.
"You're going to work to study?"
"Yes. I'll get there in time for free lunch too, maybe have some cereal or something."
"Lunch.. that's an idea. Maybe I'll grab some food on the way home."
"So are you coming back sometime?"
"Maybe. Perhaps as a lab person. I can't handle the phones."
"Whereabouts are the tacsuns guys?"
"I think they're over in <someplace not where I'd been working>."
"That sucks. That really sucks."
"Do you have any experience with unix machines?"
"No, not really. Just moving files around, mostly."
"Well, you're about to get some. No one really does much with it at work either."
"What, there's no linux/unix guru there?"
"I don't think so. There probably are, but I don't know them."
"I knew I shouldn't have brought this coat along."
"Why not?"
"It's too big."
"It looks warm though. It was freezing last night walking back."
"I'll see you later then."
"Bye."

A few stations later, I get a phone call. Thinking it's mum, I wonder if I should answer, but when I check, it's him, calling to say that the wallet was indeed at work. He asked what station I was at. When I answered, he said he'd never been that far north on a train before, because he'd never had to go up there. He said some other things too but it was breaking up, so I just mumbled agreement sounds and hoped to myself that we really would meet again sometime in the future, rather than it just being something he said when parting.

When I get to my station almost an hour later, I go for food at the Japanese place that I've always been meaning to eat at, then wander around in the shops for a bit. I buy a small white spoon. Mum says she has work so I ask her to pick me up; this proved to be a mistake, because shortly after I got into the car, she starts asking questions and saying how she doesn't approve *roll* Generally, she ruined my perfectly good mood.