I have not cried or felt this way for weeks; I thought I could access those memories again.
In truth, there are really very few memories immediately accessible to me. They are slowly being replaced, though they can still be triggered. I have refused to look at logs until something urgently tells me it is time to do so.
...Net147 is still dear to me, but I am starting to like just an acquaintance of his.

Something has been bothering me. Last week (Tuesday, I think), a guy asked me at the traffic lights, "Are you a UTS student?" I nodded.
"Are you a Christian?" I shook my head.
"Are you interested in studying the Bible?" I shook my head again.
"Bye," he said as the light turned green.

...I lied without even really thinking about it. I have only one explanation - the lecturer on Saturday (Study Success Lectures) was complaining about the Christian group called Credo. Perhaps it gave me a bad idea of them before I'd even heard the other side of the story. Which would mean I am also guilty of judging a group of people unfairly, as well as lying.
What bothers me most is that I denied being Christian. Even if it was to keep away from publicity I didn't like about Credo. Or to get out of more questions.
Deckker asked me once if I was religious. I said no to that (because I don't think I am) and then I asked him if he was. He also said no, but added that he did respect other religions.
I wonder if he meant if I was a Christian or something like that. Because that would be twice in the space of a week.

...Time to come clean, I think, and talk to Him. Maybe then I will be able to get to sleep...