Today was Graduation Ceremony. No more school classes from now on.
The ceremony was really long... 09:30 to like 11:15 or something. Ez and Lauren got cadet awards for AFX, but I didn't, probably because I was in Tier 3. Oh well. At least I graduated.
Niz played a keyboard, because the school doesn't have a grand piano. He sounded nervous, but that would have been ok - if only the keyboard hadn't been so crap! It just made his small mistakes sound much worse, and couldn't produce the same sound a piano would when he played loud, so the keyboard made it sound crap.
Was planning to give Jessie's mum the finger in a subtle sort of way (like rub my nose with only that finger sticking up, or something) but never got around to it. She was actually sitting in the same row as Qing, Danni and I, but across the aisle. And she is an old, ugly hag! Her mottled feet had blue veins in them, and looked like they were trying to swell out of her shoes! >_< Not pretty.
Took a lot of photos of people. Also got some teachers to sign my book. It was amusing - all of them tried to open it with the plastic cover still on.
Gave Guthrie a copy of that crazy German composition. Asked Corfield about Nada's poster. It turned out that it WAS her that had done it! >_< At least it was a decent reason, though I don't know about the validity - they never took down our posters before when they didn't have any English on them.
Nada and Hyde just stuck up a new poster in exactly the same place, with a blank piece of paper that was written in English. Not that I noticed... I didn't go out the entrance after the ceremony.

Went to Towers afterwards. Took a bus from Tafe. I totally forgot about the muffin that the canteen lady had saved for me in the morning (when we went to ask her about the poster that was taken off) until Tillius sms'd me, asking if I was going to stay at school. Then I felt really guilty. He was going to buy me a muffin and pay with 5c coins.
Watched The Terminal. Not a bad movie - actually has a plot which I'd never really come across before, and the music and pictures go together really well. It plays mostly on emotions. Gotta admire the guy's persistence. The goat one, not the bald one.

I can't believe that Elton estimated a UAI of 96 for me. I've already planned to work really hard in the weeks before the HSC, but now I actually have some sort of incentive/goal to work towards, so it should be a little easier.

But very little is going to make a forced separation from Net147 any easier, even though it'll only be temporary. It's bad enough that distance is so difficult to bridge; parents have already made it harder by not allowing me to go to the city today. (Funnily enough, they let me go to Towers and Tiffa's house after the graduation.)
I feel extremely guilty for deciding that I'll stay away from the Wired unless absolutely necessary to go online, but I want those marks, and I know he understands.
But telling the heart what the mind knows is extremely difficult. It's going to hurt. For someone like me who has very little self-discipline, it's necessary. Yet it won't be any easier.
The worst thing is knowing that after the HSC is over for me, he'll be in Year 12 half yearly exams.
Why is everything against us? I'm holding on, but I can feel despair trying to take me. Loneliness hurts so much... why don't they want me to hold you? I need your touch, your warmth... I want to share mine with you, but I can't, there's several walls in the way, and I can't reach you...
The hurt is making that blade look really, really tempting... it's shiny in the light; the red would dull it down...