Well, at least I know for sure that I really couldn't have helped him with his question. "Who is dearest to me?"
If anything, I hope I haven't made it harder for him to find the answer.

I understand now why I cried for so long two nights ago. Albeit it was a few months ago, but to have finally oversome my own doubts, and have come to the realisation that, yes, no matter how long we were to be separated, I would still love him fiercely; to lose him would be...
When he told me he also loved me, I swore to myself that I would never lie to him. I am ashamed to say that I committed the lie of omission several times.
But because of my oath, it took me quite some time for me to say I wanted to always be with him. And I knew that at this moment in time, I still want that. I haven't said it to him for what feels like ages, but I remember the times that he said he wanted to be with me forever. I know he did not lie then either. I remember saying to him that forever was a very long time.
Nevertheless... I refuse to be the one to let go. I will not go back on my word. Perhaps I was disillusioned when I allowed myself to believe him when he said forever, but at the time, it was truth, from the depths of his heart. He said to me that he would hold on to me as long as I held on to him.
Perhaps that will get us through.

"Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand;
But I know who holds tomorrow,
And I know who holds my hand."

If what I fear should happen... then so be it. I don't know if I would be able to survive it... I know that not even he could stay the blade from my flesh if he be the one to break the link.
But let it not end like that... please, no... don't let the past repeat for the third time... the signs are/were all there, but let our bond be stronger than that... a link that we hoped would surpass time and distance... let it be strengthened... let me feel him in my arms again; his body both shielding me from the cold and being warmed by mine...

Yet, Your will be done, Lord, not mine...