My head hurts. I somehow managed to bash it into the wall last night (or was it the night before?). I remember thinking, 'Ow! That hurt! I'm going to have a bruise there later...' before I went back to sleep and forgot all about it. It didn't hurt much at all today, I didn't even notice it, but now it's really annoying. It feels like I've scratched it too much. Mum says it feels all soft and squishy, and diagnosed a haemorrhage. Which just means that it was bleeding under the skin. Which is what a bruise is.
I have bruises all over the place. I found one yesterday on the back of my left hand, sitting in the area between my thumb and index finger.
They're not healing either. I keep going to sleep at, like, 1 - 1:30 am, so it's not really much surprise.
What's wrong with me... I can't think properly, can't be bothered to work, can't grasp concepts at all for some reason. This is not usual. Well, the not-thinking and the not-grasping of concepts anyway. Simple things just... aren't simple anymore. There is a fault in the lattice somewhere, I cannot find it, and I can't expect that someone else will find it for me. This procrastination is getting worse, and I am running out of time. I don't want to choose, but I think I have only two options in front of me. Either I gather what's left of my self control and get some serious work done, day after day, turn it into a habit, and hopefully gain average marks in exams and HSC. Or I just fail it altogether. There is no middle ground. I have lived for too long in the grey, and now there is none, so I choose to work. Whether I can actually do it is another matter altogether. I need someone other than myself to keep me on track...