I wonder what happened. I can't even check what he said because when the modem got turned off, all the conversations as well as MSN Messenger itself died as well, so I don't have any logs. I should run Scandisk or Dr Watson, see what went wrong, because that was NOT normal.

past thoughts/mindset not himself trance tight shell illusion memories damaged inner world different
...I remember that time. I knew myself better back then. I knew what to say back then. Unlike these days.

My insatiable curiosity wants to know what he thinks he failed in.
I should have said/reminded, felt like I should have, but didn't. Should have said/asked "walk with me" but I didn't so instead he did. Should have used dialup sooner. Should also have used it immediately after dialling with phone to check. But didn't because parents were around, and consequently got the voice mailbox person when my comp dialled.
Can't change the past.

I wonder if I should keep guessing answers like I do. I always seem to be wrong anyway. Even when I know I'm not wrong, there is always some clarification that I seem to miss. Always seems to be correcting me in some way or another. I think it's slowly undermining my self-confidence.

...Haly was right. I really do need to stay away from Net147.
Else it's going to be harder to be independant again. I need to grow up. I've noticed that I've become far too childish; I'm behaving like those people I used to despise when I was chatting online a few years ago.
...but how can I? The idea feels so much like a cold-hearted abandoning. So wrong. What do I do...?