I guess knowing that people actually read this blog is making me update it more often.
But yeah... today, went to my first session of tutoring ever. It was... meh. She does the job of my teacher, and then goes and tells me to do homework anyway. If that's how it's going to be for the rest of the uh.. year, then I'm going to consider asking to go just one every two weeks. No point in wasting money if all I'm going to be doing is homework anyway. Explanations I can get from my teacher at school.

Woke up this morning at seven, so I went back to sleep. And dreamed the oddest dream... only fragments of it come back now, but it seemed that I was talking to some ppl in this huge ballroom or something... on a really tall seat, like the ones they have in the science labs... and they were all asking me questions about Ez and my friends and everything... and the scary thing was, I was telling them everything...

My mum doesn't ever seem to find anything I do useful. She doesn't like anything I do. Besides me sitting at my desk and writing/studying. Why the fuck does she think that she knows everything?! As soon as she sees a window with colour in it, she assumes I'm wasting my time. Nevermind if I'm doing research and the site just happens to be colourful and attractive - no, I'm wasting my time so she has to take the modem. Thank God for internal modems that work.. sort of. Too bad I'm too stupid to get the external modem working. But then she'd probably take that one too. T_T I want to get out of this place so badly...

Found a stick of incence that smelt a lot like my ex.. how weird. It was called "Moonlight". And the moon tonight was large, gold-yellow-orange and beautiful... I swear, moonlight does something to me. I don't know what it is, but it seems to bring out the melancholy.

I'm still all sore from the cross country yesterday. My back hurts the worst, and I can't do anything about it... there are times when I really miss having a close friend... those days were good...
*Prods self back into the present again*
I probably shouldn't just.. shun all physical contact... hell, even Davo and Ez using my shoulder as an armrest feels ok... and that's saying quite a bit... :| But it just seems so... wrong... to let anyone else touch me... anywhere... God, loneliness hurts...
*Considers the blade again*
I wonder if Marshall will do it for me... his blade is sharper, and he cuts deeper too...